From Self-Criticism to Self-Compassion

When it comes to exercise, motivation often feels like the magic ingredient everyone else seems to have, but you’re still searching for. In fact, 45% of people in one study named “lack of motivation” as their biggest barrier to working out.

If you live with depression, this hurdle isn’t a character flaw. it’s often a physiological reality. Low dopamine levels can make it harder for your brain to anticipate reward, and the body can feel weighed down by a sensation known as “leaden paralysis”, where limbs feel heavy, stiff, and resistant to movement.

In that state, even the smallest task can feel monumental. And when you can’t “push through” the way you think you should, the self-talk can get brutal:

“I’m lazy.”
“I just don’t care enough.”
“I’ll never change.”

This spiral doesn’t build motivation, it deepens the sense of defeat.

Breaking the Cycle: Start With Validation

Before you can move forward, you need to stop the blame game. Feeling unmotivated doesn’t make you weak, it means your body and mind are carrying extra weight that isn’t visible to others. Validation is the first step:

Your struggle is real.

You are not alone.

You deserve compassion, not criticism.

Redefining Success

Part of the problem is how we define “working out.” If your mental picture is a 90-minute sweat-drenched gym session, anything less can feel like failure. But progress is not all or-nothing.

A successful workout can be:

A 10-minute walk

Two minutes of stretching in your living room

Standing outside to get fresh air

Doing five bodyweight squats between tasks

These small actions matter—not because they “burn calories,” but because they keep you connected to yourself.

The Power of “Just Showing Up”

You don’t have to crush your limits every day. Some days, the victory is simply lacing up your shoes, or making it to the gym even if you leave early.

Consistency, not intensity, builds trust with yourself. Every small choice sends your brain a quiet but powerful message:

“I keep promises to myself.”

Real Progress is Quiet

In a world obsessed with transformation stories and “before-and-after” photos, it’s easy to overlook the victories that can’t be posted on Instagram. Healing often happens in subtle ways, like noticing your mood lift after a short walk, or realizing it’s been a week since you last called yourself “lazy.”

Celebrate those quiet wins. They are not the prelude to progress, they are progress.

Bottom line: If you’re struggling with motivation, start with self-compassion. Shrink the goal until it’s so small it feels almost silly, and then do it. Over time, those tiny acts of care stack up into a momentum that’s real, lasting, and built on kindness, not criticism.

 

Sources

Ussher, M., et al. (2007). Barriers to and facilitators of physical activity among persons with schizophrenia. 45% cited “lack of motivation” as a primary barrier. PubMed

Atypical Depression – Includes leaden paralysis (“heavy sensation in the limbs”) as a symptom. Wikipedia

Atypical Depression Symptoms. Choosing Therapy. Choosing Therapy

Why It’s Difficult to Exercise With Depression. Talkspace – Low dopamine and leaden paralysis explained. Talkspace